102 reasons why you shouldn't sack your manservant!
by Merlinandsimsgirl
Summary: So, I actually wrote this half way through the airing of season five last autumn, but I lost it. However, I found it once again and typed it up! Summary: Arthur finds a long scroll of parchment on his desk which is something he wasn't quite expecting... This is a oneshot and is complete. (No slash)


102 Reasons **NOT **to sack your manservant:

You will have no one to polish your armour

You will have no one to wash your clothes

You will have no one to scrub your chamber floors

You will have no one to sharpen your sword

You will have no one to banter with

You will have no one you can call an 'idiot'.

You will have no one you can call a 'girl's petticoat'

You will have no one you can throw things at

You will have to survive without soup

You will have no one to yell at when you are in a foul mood

You will have no one you can ask to 'shut up'.

You will have no one to help you get into your armour

You will have no one to moan to

You will have no one to moan about

You will have no one you can praise on the odd occasion

You will have no one left that you can threaten with a spoon

You will have no one left that you can attack with a spoon

You will have no one left that can insult you without getting thrown in the stocks

You will have no one left to shout at for playing 'hide and seek' during an ambush in the forest.

You will have no one who gets worried when you claim that you are thinking.

You will have no one who can prepare rat for your dinner.

You will have no one who sneezes and scares off prey during a hunting session

You will have no one who claims that their only skill is 'putting up with you!'

You will have no one you can chuck a bucket of cold water at

You will have no one that you can 'demonstrate' cleaning to.

You will have no one to tell you it's funny when you get beaten by a girl

You will have no one to wake you in the middle of the night by hiding under your bed and calling your name in a whisper.

You will have no one who can turn a gargoyle statue into a pet dog.

You will never know anyone else who can survive a Dorocha attack.

You will have no one who will ignore your orders to do something that might actually work better

You will have no one who will spend too much time in the tavern.

You will have no one to call you a 'Clot pole'

You will have no one to call you a 'cabbage head'

You will have no one to blame if you fall off your horse

You will have no one you can actually explain yourself to.

You will have no one to prevent your death in Melee or jousting tournaments

You will have no one to save your life on a weekly basis

You will have no one to warn you of traitors

You will have no one to ignore on more than one occasion

You will have no one that you can admit you are wrong to.

You will have an angry Gaius to contend with

You will have an angry Hunith to contend with

You will have an angry dragon to contend with

You will have no one to stalk suspicious people

You will have no one to prevent you from doing stupid things

You will find battles harder

You will perish at the hands of your evil sister

You will have no one to annoy you by asking frequent questions

You will have Excalibur taken off of you

You will have no one to whisper spells behind your back

You will have no one who can contact a dragon is desperate situations

You will never realise that magic can be good

You will have no one to persuade you otherwise

You will have no one to survey council meetings from the corner of the room

You will have no one to accompany you when you get lost or separated from the knights

You will have no one to scold for random things

You will have no one who can single handily stop a dragon attack

You will have no one who can block an army by making a fire spread and work as a shield

You will have no one who can ward off wyvern

You will have no observant people left

You will have no one who can cure you from a magical fever

You will have no one who can communicate with the Druids

You will have no one that you can blame for not keeping a secret

You will have no one left who can accidentally release a goblin

You will have no one left who can catch a goblin

You will have no one who forgets to knock

You will have no one you have to remind to knock

You will have no one who can fool you more than once

You will have no one who questions your actions

You will never know anyone else who can juggle effortlessly but not catch random things you throw at them

You will have no one to rescue you from an enchantment

You will have no one who can prevent arranged marriages

You will have no one to guide you through impenetrable forests

You will have no one who can smuggle an escape rope to your chambers

You will have no one who can't hold onto the escape rope that you are abseiling with.

You will have no one who can save your father from a mandrake root

You will have no one left who actually appears to still have their mum

You will have no one who screams your name when you are in trouble

You will have no one who is willing to set up a romantic picnic when you want to go on a date with a girl

You will have no one to brush the moose head on your chamber wall

You will have no one who trips over tents in the middle of a battlefield at night a miraculously wakes no one up

You will have no one to kill off evil uncles

You will have no one to kill off evil half-sisters

You will have no one to check for woodworm

You will have no one to hug who is covered from head to foot in mud

You will have no one to tell you that you got up from the wrong side of the table

You will have no one to retrieve the cup of life

You will have no one to destroy an immortal army

You will have no one to give you your Pudsey teddy bear at night

You will have no one to steal your sausages

You will have no one to suggest you are getting fat

You will have no one to blame if you get caught in a net

You will have no one to flatten bandits with trees

You will have no one who can turn you into a simpleton without warning

You will have no one who can gain hospitality from smugglers

You will have no one who can age extremely quickly

You will have no one who magically pulls your trousers down to steal your keys

You will have no one who is scared of their own shadow

You will have no one who raids people's wardrobes

You will have no one to save you from being an ass

You will never be in the presence of a man with such a great destiny again

**You will NEVER know ANYONE like Merlin!**

Arthur placed the long scroll down on his desk and rubbed his sore eyes from all the reading he had just done before looking up at his manservant who was grinning hopefully at him.

"You really are an idiot aren't you Merlin?" He sighed.

"One of my many talents sire!" Merlin replied.

"What even gave you the impression I was going to sack you in the first place?" Arthur frowned as he stood and folded his arms, awaiting an answer.

"Oh, it was just in case you forgot how important I was." Merlin replied simply before walking out of Arthur's chambers. Arthur just shook his head before returning to his seat and reading the incredibly long scroll once more.


End file.
